Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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