Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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