Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Randomize