Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week š
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him āfuck meā eyes during a lecture a few times.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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