I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
