it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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