She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
