You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
