i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
