Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize