She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
