Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
