She is in my trunk
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
