Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize