I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
