I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize