Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
