Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize