So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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