We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
