grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
