You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
