dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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