so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
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You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
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Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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