There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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