then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
