I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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