are you so shy because you have an std?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
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