I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
