omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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