he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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