The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize