Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
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I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
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I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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