wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
