I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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