Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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