Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?