MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions