Texts From Last Night

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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best

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  (785): I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best http://tfl.nu/ugel
  Replies (13) Good night (811) Bad night (2149)
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  (805): View more from California

  singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful

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  (805): singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful http://tfl.nu/6f81
  Replies (14) Good night (1156) Bad night (1870)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.

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  (949): if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation. http://tfl.nu/12m7
  Replies (5) Good night (4182) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve

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  (580): Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve http://tfl.nu/obez
  Replies (20) Good night (5295) Bad night (1563)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"

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  (419): then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!" http://tfl.nu/taup
  Replies (10) Good night (4357) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.

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  (704): He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza. http://tfl.nu/a4a2
  Replies (8) Good night (1029) Bad night (2818)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?

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  (248): Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning? http://tfl.nu/u220
  Replies (16) Good night (7534) Bad night (941)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.

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  (240): We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit. http://tfl.nu/8ktk
  Replies (18) Good night (3155) Bad night (1285)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.

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  (330): She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo. http://tfl.nu/dqo9
  Replies (20) Good night (3470) Bad night (1398)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.

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  (816): You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do. http://tfl.nu/w9t3
  Replies (5) Good night (2033) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.

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  (610): I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now. http://tfl.nu/akfs
  Replies (6) Good night (791) Bad night (1613)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.

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  (972): The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now. http://tfl.nu/6t25
  Replies (6) Good night (1360) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.

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  (414): you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business. http://tfl.nu/y67z
  Replies (4) Good night (610) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional

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  (908): I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional http://tfl.nu/0jgi
  Replies (4) Good night (557) Bad night (239)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra

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  (425): Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra http://tfl.nu/b4si
  Replies (2) Good night (398) Bad night (250)

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