I have demons in me.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
