Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
