Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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