if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize