I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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