this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
