WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
