Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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