Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I need to stop coming to work sober
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
