I'm drive I can fine osifer
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
