wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
