Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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