I'm lost and stupid without you.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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