I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize