she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
