dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
