They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
