Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
